New Greeting Card: Covertly Hostile Mother's Day Card

As Mother's Day approaches we introduce a card for those whose relationship with their mother is painful and sometimes even hostile. Use the language of flowers to quietly say how you really feel while outwardly obeying your obligation to express affection.

While Mother's Day is touted as a time to celebrate your mother as the "best mom ever," for many people it serves instead as a painful reminder that their mother is neither good to them nor good for them. Unfortunately, it is not always possible to disengage from toxic moms, and going through socially mandated demonstrations of love is extremely painful when they are so at odds with your emotional reality. We wanted to create a card that would be a little less painful to give, because it would, secretly, convey your true feelings.

This card is a sharp departure from our usual, cutesy chibi card style. Instead it is designed to blend in with the drugstore pack and look entirely unexceptional. Terri described it as filling a niche Hallmark refuses to create, despite the fact that it is their advertising that changed card-giving from a nice gesture on the holiday to a social norm.

The card features two flowers. Lavender means distrust, and tansy means resistance or a declaration against the recipient. But your mother doesn't need to know that. Also, due to the proliferation of flower dictionaries, it is possible to come up with many alternate readings that are completely innocuous, giving you plausible deniability.

Card is $4 and comes with a pink envelope.

Unfortunately, gender stereotypes have thus far defeated our efforts to come up with a Father's Day equivalent, as giving a card featuring flowers to your horrible dad would definitely not count as "flying under the radar." If you have any suggestions for what we might do to offer a Father's Day equivalent, please contact us.

New Greeting Card: Parents' Day Card

by Terri

Did Hallmark neglect to create a card for your non-binary identified parent? Are you forever searching for a less saccharine card to acknowledge those who may have acted as a parent to you though not precisely family? Spoon Dragon is here to help!

How it came to be:

Both Ariela and I have lamented the sameness of the Mother's and Father's Day cards currently available. We wanted to have a card that had imagery that spoke to geeky kids and geeky parents alike, knowing that those don't always overlap in the same family. Also, sometimes your geeky adult isn't your biological parent. That doesn't make the mentor or parental role in your life any less, and it's natural to want to give them a card at this time of the year. Families come in all sorts, and we wanted to make a card to acknowledge the wonderful relationships that are parental, even if they are not with a mother or a father.

So we turned once again to Spoon Dragon. This time they are in the company of a griffin who seems to be Spoon Dragon's parent.

We have deliberately created this card without gendered terms, equally applicable to parents of any gender, or to anyone who fills a parental role in your life. The interior text doesn't mention a specific Hallmark Holiday, and really is appropriate to any time of the year that you want to acknowledge a person to whom the card applies.

The card is $4 and comes with a white envelope.

New Product: All Others Must Bring Data

by Terri

Have you been feeling frustrated by people who think that the plural of anecdote is data? For that matter, do people that can't correctly conjugate the plurals around the word data make you cranky? Then you're probably the target audience for this print.

How It Came To Be:

Both Ariela and I are quite concerned about how established scientific fact is currently being maimed and mangled to fit current political needs. That's not what data are for. A friend suggested we might do a print based around a quote attributed to Galileo, but it seemed too obscure to convey what we were feeling. Instead, Ariela picked a pointed quote attributed to W. E. Deming.

The graphs and spreadsheets in the background are all from Kaggle, a crowdsourcing platform for data-mining and analytics. As such, Kaggle is an enormous library of publicly available datasets, covering everything from Aviation Accident Synopses  to Dogs of Zurich to the Anime Recommendations Database, and many that are much weirder or more depressing. Also an enormous amount of data about Pokémon.

Which dataset is featured here? Why, the metadata on Kaggle usage! It's data about data, for a lovely, self-referential, navel-gazing loop. How are we presenting it? Honestly, our presentation here is nonsense, with graphs made out of data that show no particular results and spreadsheets juxtaposed just for the heck of it. This probably seems like an odd decision to make here of all places, particularly from an artist who makes much hay about the fact that she doesn't put nonsense text, binary, or even musical notation into her work.  It is there as a commentary on Deming's quote, to act as a caveat. The artful rearrangement of the data into pretty but meaningless patterns reminds us that data is only useful if we know how to analyze it well. If we don't, at best it is noise, and at worst it can lead us to conclude that ice cream causes drowning.* The Deming quote is pithy, but the truth is always more complicated.

This print is relevant for many situations, whether encouraging good decision-making at work or screaming at politicians and talking heads on the news. It is available in two sizes, 8" x 10" and 11" x 14" (matted dimensions) for $35 and $45 respectively.

*This is a famous example of "correlation does not imply causation." As ice cream sales increase, so do drowning deaths. Turns out both are just more common the hotter it gets. 

New Product - "Take Care of Yourself"

By Terri

The news is horrible. We're all in danger of succumbing to outrage fatigue. Hang this on your wall to remind yourself to take the steps necessary to stay sane and keep fighting.

How It Came To Be:

This is not actually the print we had originally planned for February,* but Ariela made this because it was something she needed to hear herself, plus she was somewhat creatively burnt out. Thus creating this print was also an act of self-care.

The print is riotously colorful, because it needs to be happy to remind others to be happy. All of the activities listed require relatively little money, because Ariela wanted them to be widely accessible. Yes, we're aware that if you are poor enough, they're not all accessible. We're also aware that making a high-end art print that is aware of this limitation is somewhat ironic, but artists need to eat. We should not be cutting our own bottom line out from under ourselves to further our commitment to social justice.**

Self-care is not selfish. You are precious. And you cannot take care of others or fight for what you believe well if you are run-down and burnt out. This is a long haul kinda thing and burning up in a blaze of self-sacrifice at the beginning isn't the way to go.

The print is available in two sizes: 8" x 10" and 11" x 14" (matted dimensions) for $30 and $45 respectively. $5 from the sale of each print will be donated to the Hebrew Immigrant Aid Society (HIAS), who are currently doing some amazing work supporting refugees trying to come to this country.

*To be honest, it's not even the second print scheduled for this month. We've both been overwhelmed and burnt out since the election. Overwhelmed and burnt out artists and their wranglers edit their production calendars like sensible people.

**In addition, when you cut the bottom out of your own bottom line, you also cut the bottom out from other artists, too. So making a charitable print and taking a loss on it might cause people to buy your thing rather than someone else's who cannot actually afford to take a loss. Which is why it is good artist practice to encourage others to price themselves properly, even when starting out.

New Product: Police Box Mizrach (מזרח טרדיס)

by Terri

Have you been searching for the right piece of art to indicate your love of a certain Doctor? No matter which one is yours, his iconic Police Box can guide your prayers in the right direction.

How it came to be:

Since the Jewish diasporas began in 8th-6th century BCE, Jews have been turning towards Jerusalem and the site of the Temple Mount there to pray. Much of the diaspora has sent Jews westward of Israel, and thus that means facing east.* Typically a synagogue will put the aron (cabinet containing the Torah scrolls) on the eastern wall to remind the congregants which direction to face during prayer. But in a home, especially modern apartments which don't always have windows in the right places, intuiting which direction is east can be difficult.

Thus a decorative, yet functional piece of art came into existence - the mizrach/מזרח.** Usually containing the Hebrew word, it is a pretty thing that you put on the eastern wall to let you know which way to face while praying.*** Many of them feature pictures of Jerusalem, for the obvious reason.

Ariela had been wanting to do a geeky mizrach for a while but was stymied as to how. Inspiration struck in a most unexpected form: at a shiva minyan, one of the mourners was wearing a Karen Hallion t-shirt, and it suddenly occurred to Ariela that perhaps a certain Police Box-shaped object might visit Jerusalem.

The Police Box Mizrach will be available in two sizes: 8" x 10" and 11" x 14" (matted dimensions) for $30 and $45 respectively.

*Of course now we can live in really cold climates, and are often more northeast than actually due east. Someday you can ask me about shenanigans involving prayer in Poland.

**The Hebrew word for east. Pronounced miz (like a married woman keeping her maiden name) rakh (cheerleading RAH with that guttural sound at the end)

***Of course, it doesn't have to be the eastern wall. Our friend Liz embroidered the Hebrew word tzafon/צפון (north) with a decorative border and framed it. You can find east if you know due north. Pedantry can be fun.

New Product: This Should Not Be Normal And It Is Not Okay

By Terri

Usually I come up with pithy copy for this section. Unfortunately, reality is intruding on the parts of my brain that are good at pithy copy. 

Ariela and I are not shy about expressing our political opinions. It's safe to say that if you read this, you have a pretty good idea of what they are. Neither of us are happy with what's going on, and we've spent a lot of time exclaiming loudly at each other over the results of the election.

How It Came To Be:

Everyone from John Oliver* to the Washington Post** is saying "This is not normal."The fact of the matter is that this is becoming our normal, and will be our normal for at least the next four years. Plenty of things that are terrible and should not be normal are, in fact, normal. Systemic racial bias is normal. The wealth gap in our country is normal. Religious hatred is normal. I will argue that kleptocratic cabinet choices and the insane amount of conflict of interest that the PEOTUS has aren't normal***, but continuing to claim that it isn't normal misses the point. What it isn't now and never will be is okay. This is our way of saying that. 

It's also important right now to keep creating. To keep making art, making music, cooking, loving, crafting. To do the things that make you happy, because happiness is the best defense against the mess the next 4 years are going to be. I cast on a rainbow shawl the day after the election. Ariela painted this, and is working on other projects as well.

Ariela added the border text because she felt that the central text by itself was visually boring for calligraphy. Also because she likes Copperplate and has been playing with it lately.

Prints are available in two sizes (8"x10" & 11" x 14", matted dimensions), with two text options. There is a plain white version, and for $10 per size, you can get sparkly silver letters! $5 from each print sale will be donated to EMILY's List.**** One of the ways we fight is by raising money to elect the candidates who can fight for us on every level, from local legislatures all the way to the White House. 

*Fast forward to 5:45 for the first statement of "this is not normal." It will be repeated.

**Yeah, there really are that many articles that we can link one to every letter in the words "Washington Post." And those links were found just by scrolling through their twitter feed.

***For the United States. In lots of countries, this is normal. For us, it's new.

****We are donating a portion of these sales to EMILY's List purely of our own volition. They are not sponsoring this product, nor are they in any way affiliated with it or with Geek Calligraphy.

New Product: Aliyah Name Cards

By Terri

Tired of playing broken telephone with the gabbai of your local minyan? Out of town and unexpectedly get called up to the Torah? Keep this card in your siddur and you'll always be addressed by your actual name!

Image shows Ariela's hand holding Terri's name card. Letters are in purple (of course) with gold tagin/crowns.

how it came to be:

When Ariela moved to her current community, she noticed that they kept a box of file cards on the bimah with member's names in order to call them up for aliyot. Of course, since she was only there on Shabbat, she never got a chance to fill one out for herself. So she made one. And then (because she is a very lovely person), she offered to make one for her spouse thinking that he might like one. And then the natural realization that other people might want one followed. The idea for a sleeve to keep it inside the siddur came from the card being used as a bookmark and then falling out all the time.

Image shows a siddur with a name card in a sleeve attached to the cover.

They are available in 5 different colors, with ornamental crowns in either the color of the letters or gold or silver. The cards are laminated so that they are durable. The corners are rounded so that they do not poke you. 

At the moment, if you would like to order more than one, you need to add each card to your shopping cart individually and fill out the personalization form. If you would like to order a large batch, please use our website contact form and request it. We will work with you.

Aliyah name cards are $45 each. We are also selling extra sleeves for $4 each here.

Bonus New Product: משנכנס מרחשון

By Terri

Do you need something on your office wall declaring just how happy you are that Tishrei is over? Get one of these before we run out!

Note that this is a special bonus product for November. We will still be releasing a product on the usual third Wednesday of the month (oddly enough, this Wednesday).

How It Came To Be:

Neither Ariela nor I are huge fans of Tishrei. The sheer number of holidays are exhausting. Ariela tends to be an very visible participant in her ritual community and I tend to live the stereotype of the Jewish mother who cooks way too much food and invites the whole world over.*

Needless to say, we were both pretty relieved to welcome in the next month, called Marcheshvan.** Ariela threw together this quick doodle to put up on our various forms of social media:

Image shows the words "Mishenichnas Marcheshvan Marbin B'Simcha" in green and blue.

It's a riff on the traditional line about the month of Adar, (which has the holiday of Purim in it), where we say that when Adar begins, happiness increases. 

When we put this up, people started asking when it was going to be available for purchase. Clearly we had a niche product on our hands.*** So Ariela redid the art**** and printed out a limited number. The reason for the limited number of prints is that each one will be hand gilded. It's also why they're more expensive for the size. The original is also for sale here.*****

The irony of releasing a product touting the joy of this month is quite painful at the moment. Ariela considered not releasing it after all. Ultimately, we decided to go ahead with it because we want to believe that fear, bigotry, hatred, and violence will not be able to deprive us of all that is good in our lives. When we are no longer able to take pleasure in the things we still have, that is when we are truly defeated. We may give in to despair at times, but we do not want to give up entirely.

So we are sending this art out into the world in hopes that it will bring smiles to people's faces at times when they need it, and in faith that next year, we will once again be able to enjoy the respite we gain when Cheshvan 5778 comes along.

Mishenichnas Marcheshvan measures 8" x 10" (includes a silver mat) and is available for $50.

*My main ritual community doesn't welcome a whole lot of women's participation. It's a sore spot.

**Pronounced mahr-khesh-vahn

***Rather similar to "Rabbis <3 Cheshvan" shirts

****The initial plan was to re-scan the doodle at a better resolution. Unfortunately, this made it look even more like a doodle, and it was faster to do a new original.

*****Unless it's already been bought. Then you're out of luck.

New Product: Manuscript Ketubah

by Terri

Did you meet your future spouse at an event sponsored by the Society for the Creative Anachronism? Is one of you a medieval historian? Do you think having traditional Judaic iconography in your artwork is important? Then this is the ketubah for you!

Available in 4 texts.

How it Came to Be:

Ariela originally conceived this design to serve the Renfaire crowd. In our initial Google Doc (dating back to 2012), this design is listed as follows:

Book of Kells-inspired illuminated manuscript (dual-listed to fantasy)

look up really old ketubot and something properly medieval (Matthew* says “documentation”)

Once Ariela put pencil to paper for even the most preliminary sketches, she realized she needed to do some serious research. In addition, she realized that she also needed to change the time period of the art she was looking at to later than the Book of Kells. Especially because we wanted the potential audience to be as wide as possible, from any Fantasy geek couple looking for something that would be at home in $_EuropeanFantasyland all the way to historians without being an actual reproduction. After all, there is nothing for an historian quite like having a well-meaning loved one say "I got you this Olde Timey thing!" and to have it be tooth-gnashingly inaccurate.**

The all-English design and any design containing Hebrew are mirror images of one another. This is actually easy to do if you have scanned the artwork in first. We do not force Ariela to paint an entirely separate design for something like this. That would be cruel and unusual punishment. 

The Manuscript Ketubah is available with personalization in our 4 standard texts for $375.

*Matthew is my husband, and many of our early ideas (SA's Oath, some of the greeting cards, some stuff you haven't seen yet) were run by him in the initial planning stages.

**For the same reason, any binary code you see on this website actually says something.